“They killed me! Because I was vulnerable! Because I was rebellious! Because I was too strong to handle that they misunderstood my emotions! They cheated me! They broke me into pieces! They rejected me every time; I tried to make them feel special! They betrayed me! They beat me up! Dragged me & banged my head against wall!! They tortured me to the core! Physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually!! They raped my soul! They broke my trust in the name of friendship, love & relationship! They abandoned me completely when I needed them the most! My eyes were full of tears & they made fun of my sadness! My tears, frustrations became the basis of their judgmental comments!”
She was shouting & crying in pain in the open ground. She felt down. Became grounded!! It was raining heavily. The leaves of the only tree in the ground were trying to wipe her tears by falling on her, dancing in the rhythm of the loaded drops of rain!
She wrote this suicide note and came out of her house to commit suicide, but fortunately death rejected her too! She was admitted in the hospital and later on she was referred to a transpersonal psychotherapist to gain mental strength, stability & better understanding of life.
“I was subjected to injustice, unrequited love in return for my unconditional love. I am not trying to play victim card. I am aware that other people may also be in intense stressful situations. I always empathize with their situations but that can never discount the intensity of pain I am going through. I am not blaming any person for my death. It’s just that I am compelled to do it. Because I am tired.” She wrote.
She shouted with pain of rejection, when she got regressed to the phase, when she was in her mother’s womb. Regression revealed that she was unexpected baby. Her family members wanted to abort her but she survived because of her mother’s love. Her mother’s genuine confession became the proof of her pain. Her first experience (before coming to earth even) of getting rejected and feeling of abuse, the attempted abortion created, remained in her subconscious mind & the impressions of the same were getting triggered often by repeated unfavorable incidents in her life. Transpersonal Regression Psychotherapy helped her to a great extent that she was able to spread her wings of happiness, love & peace with full freedom like a butterfly emerging from cocoon.
She wrote, “I want to go back to my home forever, where I wouldn’t have to blame anybody for my pain, struggle & misery. Where I can be only myself. Where my love will be accepted warmly! I heard always that love create wonders. But rejection of my love & injustice became the most painful cause of my untimely departure. So, now I quit… I quit… so that my journey to find eternal love can be completed….”